Waters slowly fall
Through the valleys of the east,
Dreams found revealed
In the whirlepools spirial feast.
Love crossed my way
In a volume crisp and clear,
Leading my feet onto
The waters of your wier.
Waterfalls run inside
Touching emotion strings,
Feelings hidden away
Fly on silver wings.
Rapids swiftly rush
Through the canons of my mind,
Waves swish and splash
In a rocky island chime.
Along the way I stumbled
Along the path I rode,
Over the rivers bubbles and mumbles
To loves warm and contented abode.
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2 comments:
I really like this poem because I can imagine I'm there. It reminds me of the WA desert and brings back memories. You must have been so affected by the experience, Ian, and this intensity always shows in your poetry.
'An Old One'
It does bounce Ian, along like a running river, a somewhat mature one, though the opening is pensive even a bit somber. The star-crossed lover's etherial sadness for what, hopefully, will be!
I found a couple of words threw the meter and rhythm: 'away', third line, third stanza knocks it for me. Also, bubbles and mumbles, though somewhat descriptive of water, they seem weak or perhaps less effective than others but then, you would have to use a different word than 'stumbled', would you.
It is a tender pomme, full of pathos and eager longing; feelings to make one write from the heart.
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