If I ever died a million ways
The way to die I wish would be,
To be born just once then taken and drowned,
And lost in eternity.
To have just emerged from a water-warmed world,
And taken just one day of breath,
Then taken away by a good set of hands
To greet water again at my death.
Knowing no thought between these two ends
Only glimpsing by the touch of that air.
Ending my life just as pure as the start
Nothing else would be fuller I dare.
Kym Matthews
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4 comments:
Another of your poems I really love. Again, it's the way you twist the idea of 'being taken and drowned' into something desirable. It's quite shocking in a way. Your poetry is very strong!
Its a great explanation for a quest of death but why, Kym oh why did you use three 'justs',one in each verse? For me they undermine the poem's strength and vigour.
I do like the subtle rhythm of each stanza 'be', 'eternity': 'breath', 'death': 'air' and 'dare', this is something I contuinally strive for but seem never to be quite able to work it out as well as you have in this poem.
You're absolutely correct Adrian with the overuse of 'just'. That's why it is so good to have critical commentary and reflection on our poems. See, I never even thought about the use. Great stuff!
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