Limericks by AK

1

There was a young boy from Rinanna
Who was sent out to buy a banana
He could only find sticks
So went off to the flicks and when
He got home told a bunch of lies to his mamma.

2

There was an old man from New Jersey
Who wanted to swim ‘cross the Mersey
He took a high dive in the water
But then thought that he oughta
Get a boat to the Island of Gurnsey.

3

There once was a fat dancer from All Hallows
Who did her steps in the shallows
She was seen by the queen who
Let forth with her spleen
And sent her quite quick to the gallows.

4

There was a young man from the city
Who often thought it a pity
To ride on a bus
Without making a fuss
Of the folk who keep it so pretty.

5

There was a young maid from Galfairy
Who worked every day in a dairy
She milked all the cows
With the help of some Fraus
And gave the ice cream to sweet Mary.

6

There was a young man from Bombay
Who travelled to Rome in a quick way
He crossed all the mountains and lakes
With every short cut that it takes
To see why it was not built in a day.

7

I would dearly like to compose
A great work of poetry or prose.
I sit long into the night
But am quite unable to write
So it will never be done, I suppose.

8

The trees are all green with deep shade,
The ideal resting place for a young maid
Who wants to know more
Of the forest’s greats lore
And how on earth to get laid.

9

To save Tasmania’s old trees,
And bring that horrid Gunns to its knees,
We will do it with honesty by voting,
Which will put a stop to their rorting,
Because deep down we are Greens

10

A Limerick it takes ten seconds to read,
With some doing it less if at speed,
Now I have asked you for twelve,
So into the format you’ll delve,
And hopefully that’s all we will need.

11

There’s a wonderful group called ExStanza,
Whose main aim in life is to organza,
A verse that might rhyme,
If given the time,
Then the members will have a bonanza.

12

Now Jan runs a local book group,
Once a month they discuss in their coupe,
All the stories they choose,
With the talk that accrues,
Makes this a most formidable troupe.

13

Ian Matthews rides a bright red machine,
Around the streets of St Helens so keen,
Each day he’ll prevail,
To deliver the mail,
On the nippiest motorcycle to be seen.